Why is Robert Pattinson So Hilarious?

First of all I want to start off by saying that none of this actually matters at all. Secondly, I have not ever read or watched Twilight, nor to I necessarily seek him out, but every time I run into R-Patzee's visage I can't help but laugh.

1. Is it his amazing ability to be so serious, always?



2. Is it because he's a vampire...who totally wants to have intercourse with teen girls?



3. Is it because everything bothers him?



4. Is it because every single time I see a picture of him on a magazine I hear teen girls screaming for him?




Readers - I think you should weigh in on this.

Why Blog When You Can Glog?

Now that my eyes can see, I want to talk about my glog and why I started it.

Blog - (noun) A place where people without any expertise or IQ requirement can write whatever they want whenever they want and post on the internet for strangers to read, who then make fun of blogger and/or start unintelligent discussions and internet fights (for internet fights, please look up the definitions for entertainingadj. and hilariousadj.)

Mine is a glog, where really I'm not even going to pretend I know or have actual opinions on anything at all. In fact, you can go ahead and assume that I am a moron, I think that is fair, especially if you know me in real life.

Remember sentence diagramming from grammar lessons in middle school? My next glog entry is going to kind of do that but to examine why I think Robert Pattinson is so hilarious!!!

Lay Me Down and Burn My Eyeballs with Lasers

I'm going to undergo PRK eye surgery on Tuesday. PRK differs from Lasik in that it does not include any cutting. Lasik surgery begins with creating a flap in the cornea, which is lifted before the laser surgery and put back in place afterwards. PRK involves scraping away superficial cells in the eye and then performing the same laser surgery as Lasik. Unfortunately, there is a longer healing process for PRK so it may be awhile before I can see clearly.

Everything past an inch from my face is entirely out of focus. I'm ridiculously near sighted, which means I have a long eye and only see clearly when things are extremely close. If I were a film camera, people would think my sight was beautiful/artsy, but unfortunately my eyes are not film cameras and I use them to do things like drive, read, and avoid running into people. I hope for the best - which would be 20/25 vision and the ability to destroy matter with lasers shooting from my eyes.